Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Prime Time Fever Dreams

I stayed home from work yesterday, sick to my stomach and with a fever. And I learned that, apparently, when you spend sixteen hours watching reruns whilst consuming nothing but Coke and ibuprofen, you have some pretty weird dreams.

Central Perk Coffee House

Me: Hey, guys. What’s going on?

Joey: Look at me! I’m Chandler! Could I be wearing any more clothes?

Dr. House: Dude, you’re naked.

Detective Stabler: Have you been the victim of a sex crime? It’s okay, Chandler. I’m a police officer. You’re safe now.

Peter Griffin: That’s not even Chandler. That’s Ross!

Chandler: I wish. Although at least I didn’t pine after the same girl for years without making a move, Ross.

Jim Halpert: I can relate.

Dr. Shepard: I don’t think it was a compliment.

House: Dude, who invited McDreamy? No one who spends as much time as he does on his hair is welcome here.

J.D.: Why not?

Dr. Cox: You’ll speak when spoken to, Denise.

Hugh Jackman: Word to that.

Dr. Cox: Who the hell let you in?

Stabler: What seems to be the problem here?

Dr. Cox: That you haven’t banged your partner yet.

Peter Griffin: Oooh, burn!

Stabler: Whatevs. We’re just BFFs. Don't make me go all UnStabler on your ass. I’m not Mulder, for Christsakes.

Mulder: You’re just jealous.

Stabler: As if. At least my sister wasn’t abducted by aliens!

Peter Griffin: Oooh, burn!

Me: Why can’t we all just get along?

Ross: Detective Stabler, arrest that woman!

Stabler: Please turn around and put your hands behind your back.

Me: You can’t arrest me! I haven’t committed any sex crimes!

Stabler: Yet.

Me: You’re lucky that you’re hot. There is no way that I would go quietly if you looked like Ross.

Ross: Hey!

Peter Griffin: Oooh, burn!

Me: Fuck you. I’m trying to be manhandled here.

All: Damn right!

Stabler: You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney…

Me: I love you.

..............................................................................................................................................................

I just had to wake up before we got into the back of the squad car. But it's okay. I still have plenty of ibuprofen and Coke.

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